Aug 26 2008
Black Woman Thinks…Religion, Politics, Race, Atheism and more…: Here’s a Jamaican Joke!
I found this joke today on a blog that I read and advertise on from a fellow Jamaican woman. It was too good to pass by and nah show uhnu..
pass by her blog and big her up cau she well intelligent and feisty ta rass.
Mama
Black Woman Thinks…Religion, Politics, Race, Atheism and more…: Here’s a Jamaican Joke!
10 January 2008 - Here’s a Jamaican Joke!
I’m getting tired of all this serious stuff that’s been on my blog and I thought I would share a joke that made me laugh. It is written in the Jamaican patois and makes full use of the Jamaican swear words so if you get offended (in the style of Martin Willett) f**k off!!
In a recent trial, a Mandeville prosecuting lawyer called to the witness stand his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman named Miss Ivy.
The lawyer approached her and asked, “Miss Ivy, do you know me?’’
She responded, “Why, yes of course me know you, Mr. Williams. Me know yu since yu was a likkle pissen tail pickney, and wata big disappointment yu is to yu fambily. Yu is a ole liard, yu cheat pan yuh wife, yuh chat people bizniz, and yuh red-eye, grudgeful and licky-licky. Yu tink yu is a big shot now but yu no realize seh yu will never amoun to nuttin more Dan a Two-bit paper pusher! Yes, me know yuh very well alright!!”
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Miss Ivy, do you know the defense lawyer?”
She looked over at the defense lawyer and replied, “Of course, me know Mr. Bradley since him was a likkle bwoy too. Him lazy, and good-fe-nutten, him boasy, and him always a gwaan like him white. Him caan build nuh normal Relationship with any ooman. Fe him law practice a di worse eena Jamaica. Him chat nuff, him a ole teef, him dutty and narsty. A tree different ooman an four man me hear seh him a grine undah covah, an one a di ooman dem a fi yu missis (points at juror member)!!
Yes sah, me know him well.”
The defense lawyer almost died of embarrassment.
The judge ordered both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If eeda of you rassclaat bastard arks har if she know me, a gwine lock up oonu bumbo-claat eena jail fi contempt!.”
